It's Just Not Fair

I have a certain relation, a teenaged relation, that is expecting a baby. Well, they weren't exactly expecting a baby but I am supposing that is what happens when you don't plan to expect. Ahem...

So, this same relation is having this baby next week. No, make that days from now. And plans on going on vacation about ten days thereafter. Don't know if this baby will be coming or not.

I am so pissed off: WHY does God allow for such foolishness? I planned on having my baby. I wanted my baby and yet, I am the one who won't be having a baby.

I am not completely understood on this point and sometimes made to feel like I am the one who isn't right about this whole situation. Why shouldn't I be mad? I am ready to be a parent again. Well, obviously not because I am not the one having a baby. This newest responsibility will be given to someone who is skipping town days after their new arrival arrives. Seriously, it is NOT FAIR.

Also NOT FAIR.... being made to feel like I am not supposed to feel like this is NOT FAIR.

Do not dare bring that new baby near me or think that they are staying in MY house. Do not make me feel like I am wrong in feeling this way. The other baby in my life, the one and only one I am comfortable around, is MINE. I hoped and prayed for her as soon as I knew her mama wanted her. MINE. This one... is NOT. I know this makes absolutely no sense to some people. I cannot help feeling this way because it just

IS

NOT

FAIR.