Raw

Sometimes my loss feels as raw as if it happened yesterday. This is one of those moments. It just snuck up on me and made me realize how much I miss my baby. He would have been about 3 months old now, not knowing what all of the excitement around him was, but enjoying it with us nonetheless.

It's so random how these moments hit. I'm moping the floors trying to disinfect everthing because Rebekah and I have been sick and the big kids want to get the tree up. A funny thing about mopping is that it's sort of meditative. Get to moppin', get to thinkin'. In the case, my mind wanders to the little Precious Moments figurine that I think my mom could send me for Christmas. It's a little baby sleeping on the clouds. Bob keeps giving me a look whenever I bring home something to remember the baby, so maybe it'd be better if my mom sent it. She's been asking about something like that anyways.

Then, I think about the girl we know that just had a baby and was complaining that she only got one break a week when her mom came over to babysit. That otherwise, she would lose her mind.

What I wouldn't do to feel overwhlemed with my newborn.