A First

Tonight we are going to go get our pictures taken, as a family, at the studio. This is a first. I have never gotten all of our pictures taken together. In the back of my head I was always waiting for our family to be complete before we did it. It just never seemed right to be missing someone.

We have pictures together here and there.... Disney, Sea World, visting family, but not one where we all crammed together in the little room with a real photographer. Until tonight. It saddens me that John won't be in my arms, but I can't wait until I feel that my family is really complete to take this step. I missed taking pictures when I was pregnant with him. I don't want to miss the chance to document the other kids. Today. Just as they are.

I had gotten everyone a small angel pin for their shirts or backpacks after John died. Mine broke right in half off of the diaper bag. The big kids' broke too. I am hoping that Bob's is still attached to his work badge because I would really like to pin it on my shirt or in the lace of Rebekah's so it doesn't stand out, but it's there nonetheless. Like he should have been.