9 weeks

We are officially nine weeks today. I am thrilled about making it to this day. I guess because those weeks 1-4 really don't seem like they count. But now, nine weeks seems like you are on you way. We are no where near that 38 week mark (other kids born at 38, 37, and 38 weeks) and that's okay. However, it is so close to that 12 week mark. The week that my doctor said I could tell my other children. She knows what we've been through. She's been there every step since my fibroid surgery, testing, the pregnancy with Rebekah, and losing John.

Although my doctor says it'd be okay to tell them, my dear husband really doesn't want to tell them yet. I see the doctor Tuesday and then again in early February. He says we should wait until I see her the next time. I understand why. Telling them that we lost John was the most excruciating thing I have ever done in my life and I would rather not ever, ever, ever have to do such a thing again. However, this is my fifth pregnancy and I don't think that my children are so silly as to not notice a growing belly. I know I have some extra padding already, so that helps hide my bean, but eventually.... eventually hubby, we are going to have to tell them. You know, sometime before August 11th when this little one is supposed to make his appearance (and I say "his" appearance because this bean does not really care for chocolate and I am not sure in what girl's mind would she ever say no to chocolate).

So, I think about ways to tell them. It's hard to not let a loss get in your way of a new pregnancy. Those doubts and worries are always right there, but I try not to be a Debbie Downer and come up with a plan to tell them. So here are the possibilities:

(1) There's Meghan's birthday coming up.... but, that's before the *next* doctor's appointment.

(2) There's Valentine's Day... but I am trying to avoid tying any holiday with news of a baby. I found out last year that I was pregnant with John on New Year's and well, that cured me of wanting to announcing such things on a memorable date.

(3) There's my hubby's birthday. February 19th... I will be 15 weeks along by then. Dunno how big the belly will be, but it might be fun to have him open a birthday card with the baby's latest ultrasound in it and surprise the kids that way, like "Look what Daddy's getting!" Then again, see #2 on why that might not be such a good idea, especially if his mom is here visiting. Especially if his mom is here because I would do two cards then since they share a birthday.

So, I dunno what we are going to do. Take it one day at a time because for now, I am still pregnant and that, my friends, that is something to be grateful for.